


No One Understands, I Am Alone And You Have Made Me Like This

by ImpulsivelyBlue



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bullying, Dumbledore Bashing, Gen, Hogwarts First Year, Manipulative Dumbledore, Ron Bashing, The Troll
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpulsivelyBlue/pseuds/ImpulsivelyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Hermione both know what it's like to not belong, but what happens when they both find that it doesn't matter when they find each other in a world disguised by wonder but filled with hate. </p><p>Will they be able to push through the lies that surround them to find out the truth, or will they fall in to the twinkling blue of the manipulations that they fight through?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. People From The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She thought Hogwarts School would be different, but it seemed even there children were raised to hate those who were different. There were more things for them to find fault with and there even her blood wasn't good enough for a world disguised by wonder but filled with hate.

\---

Hermione still remembers what it was like the first time someone called her a know it all, when they told her to shut up because no one wanted to listen to her because she was just so so stupid. 

She knew that they were wrong, that she was smart, smarter than most children her age. She wanted to reply, to shout, to correct them, she couldn't be stupid if they were picking on her for her intelligence as well, but all she could do was try and hold back the tears as her face felt too hot and her throat felt like it was closing around her words as she struggled to breathe.

It may have been the first time, but it certainly wasn't the last. 

Hermione can remember how much she hated the other children when they picked on her and called her names, she tried to shake off the other children's words but she could still feel the hot flush that creeped on to her cheeks and the tears she cried at night falling down her cheeks, her silence an attempt to ignore her gowing unhappiness. 

She thought Hogwarts School would be different, but it seemed even there children were raised to hate those who were different. There were more things for them to find fault with and there even her blood wasn't good enough for a world disguised by wonder but filled with hate. 

It was the red head with dirt on his nose that had pushed her too far, she had years of experience that had to her numb and detached acceptance of how others viewed her, but his words reminded her of where she was and how even her hopes hadn't allowed her to be happy. 

When she locked herself in the bathroom she knew that she would be in trouble for missing class, that was if anyone noticed, but she couldn't bring herself to care. 

She cried like she hadn't before, allowing the sobs to rip themselves out of her throat and past her trembling lips, echoing around the empty bathroom. 

\---


	2. Tall Troll Tales

\---

Hermione stayed there for a while, allowing the familiar and somehow comforting silence to surround her, the magic of Hogwarts felt like a secure embrace as it whispered past her mind and danced along his skin. 

She didn't know about the explosion of shouting and noise as students tried to get back to their common rooms, she didn't know about the shouted warnings of the teachers to the prefects and she didn't know about the quiet green eyed boy that had noticed that she was missing. What she did know was that there was a feeling of acceptance that had settled heavily, burying its way deep in to her mind as she looked at herself in the mirrors above the bathroom sinks.

A movement in the corner of the mirror caught her attention, fear froze her as she saw the troll, the smell reaching her moments after the realisation. Instinct told her to scream, as soon as she tried to make any kind of noise the familiar feeling of hands squeezing at her throat as she realised that no one knew where she was, she was sure that the girls that she shared a dorm with and had only just seen through her tears would remember her in their panic. 

The panic settling in her stomach with a fleeting second of acceptance that she was about to die, as terrifying and painful as it was. Those feelings disappear as she caught sight of a small boy behind the troll, green eyes locking with hers for only a second as hope and terror surged trough her once again. 

Her magic pushed to protect her as a new hope blossomed in place of the detached acceptance that she had felt only seconds before, she flung herself away from death as the troll raised its club and with a grunt and brought the club back down allowing it to crash through the sinks she was stood in front of a moment before. She scrambled to her feet and felt her magic lash out, pushing her closer to the green eyed boy, pushing her closer to safety and allowed the two of them to run through the huge door the troll had pushed open and hid themselves away in the now dark hallway. 

Hermione swallowed back panic as the troll shuffled past their place, hidden by shadows and their young, undisciplined magic. Hermione reached out to the boy as he looked at the troll, for the first time she noticed his fear, it seemed strange for a moment that the boy that had saved her was scared before she pushed aside her musings in favour of moving to sit pressed against his side as he squeezed her hands in his own as they trembled. 

It wasn't long before the professors found them, angry and flustered that hermione found out that the green eyed boys name was Harry and he had gone looking for her before the feast because he had noticed that she was upset earlier. Hermione was surprised that someone had noticed her and agreed when one of the professors asked her if he was telling the truth before being rushed back to the common room as quickly as they could, before rushing back to finding any more wayward students before they too came across the troll. 

It was strange, she thought, that they didn't want to know more about what happened and had seemed to pass off her distressed state as home sickness. It wasn't until they were both back in the strangely quiet common room, sat beside each other on one of the sofas as they both clung to consciousness as the adrenaline abandoned them that Hermione realised she was still holding her new friends hand. 

\---


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione thinks that it isn’t really fair that she had nightmares. They were terrible, awful things that woke her in the middle of the night with a scream clawing at her throat and desperately gasping in air. It wasn’t fair on Harry that she would mope about, tired and grumpy during the day and then seek out his company at night when she couldn’t sleep, when she could barely bring herself to close her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't been updating for a while, there are some work being done up the road from my house and the workers have knocked the broadband or something so no one has wifi and probably won't for the next month or so while there's work on.
> 
> A world without wifi is not a world I want to live in.

\---

Hermione thinks that it isn’t really fair that she had nightmares. They were terrible, awful things that woke her in the middle of the night with a scream clawing at her throat and desperately gasping in air. It wasn’t fair on Harry that she would mope about, tired and grumpy during the day and then seek out his company at night when she couldn’t sleep, when she could barely bring herself to close her eyes.

She didn’t run after someone she didn’t know to try and keep them safe when a troll was loose in the castle and she wasn’t the one that was responsible for the incompetent teachers that were stupid enough to split the school in four when they could have stayed together, stayed safe. She wasn’t the reason the teachers so willingly sent a whole house of children in to the dungeons, she wasn’t the headmaster, who willingly sent the Slytherins in to the supposed path of the troll.

And yet in the early hours of the morning she wakes up again, as she has the past few weeks, gasping for breath and swinging herself out of her too big bed and landing on shaky legs in the too big dorm room.

Hermione walks out of the dark dorm, leaving the others behind. She’s quiet enough not to use the silencing charm both she and Harry had taught themselves. She finds him, like he’s always been there, in a dark corner of the common room. The sofa he’s curled up on is small, but they both take comfort in the others side presses against their own in a reassurance of the others presence.

Hermione knows her face is twisted in to an all too familiar frown that hurts her face, despite how familiar it is.

When she sits down, she curls in to Harry’s side as if she was caving in on herself, resting her head on his bony shoulder despite the face she’s a head taller than him. He leans in to her in return, both seeking comfort in the other. Hermione thinks that she could cut herself on Harry’s sharp edges and bony sides, she wonders, absently, if he should eat more.

He holds himself still, stiff and only slightly less uncomfortable than he had been a few weeks ago. And that’s when in hits Hermione all over again, it’s like a rock sitting heavily in her stomach as a breath escapes her lungs in a rush of surprise. She hates herself for reacting like that, but Harry’s hesitantly reaching for her hand, his own hand cold in hers, and offers her a long searching look when she glances up and catches his green eyes with her own.

“We could have died.” Hermione whispers, she can feel tears in her eyes as she speaks. Harry nods in agreement, closeting his eyes and taking a deep breath to stop his hands shaking in hers.

“They wouldn’t have found me in time, they wouldn’t have found us in time. They wouldn’t have even noticed, really.” She whispers again, voice trembling and her own hands shaking.

Harry nods his had, closing his eyes again and Hermione wishes she could close her eyes without seeing the troll, without seeing what could have happened to them.

They sit in the silence of the common room, neither of them get back to sleep that night.

\---


End file.
